Baby Caleb

Pregnancy is really hard on me. And being pregnant in my 30s has been even more difficult. But seeing Caleb's fat cheeks, and being able to kiss his adorable little nose, and smell that newborn head, I can say it is worth it!

I'll admit that having given birth to 35- and 37-week babies has spoiled me. My last two pregnancies were so mentally and emotionally challenging because I was thinking "any day now" for the entire last month. And Caleb decided he wasn't ready until 4 days before my due date--the longest I've ever been pregnant!

I’d been pretty discouraged that I was quickly approaching my due date and NOTHING seemed to be happening! I'd experienced some good contractions, but hadn't had those "false labor" episodes that at least signaled that the end was near. I became increasingly discouraged as my due date grew nearer.

So I spent a lot of time praying and trying to be patient. It was actually at church on Sunday, while I was reading the words to the Hymn “Master, the Tempest is Raging” during Sacrament Meeting, the words at the end of the 2nd verse struck me as profound: A plea to the Lord to “Hasten, and take control!” I’d been frustrated that I had no control over this life-changing event. I was anxious about when things would happen. I was frustrated that I couldn’t plan my life. I was anxious about how things would play out. As I started to remember more vividly the pains of childbirth, I began to question my desire to have another natural birth, and I started doubting my ability to handle it. I worried about caring for a newborn again, and how my life would change. But as I read the words to the Hymn, the thought came into my mind, “You want to be in control of this, but aren’t things always better when He is in control?” And the chorus reminds that all of the elements sweetly obey His will. And Peace, be still. And I did feel peace and trust again that He knew what was best.

Interestingly enough, it was that very night that I began labor. I’d had a few contractions in the evening, which wasn’t unusual. I went to bed for a few hours and awoke at about 2am to a hard contraction. I laid in bed for about 45 minutes until I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep through them as they became increasingly more intense. So I got up and read for a while.

This labor was very similar to Rachel's. The contractions became more and more hard, intense, and took much more concentration to get through them. But they didn't get close together. In fact, they were still quite irregular. I went to the bathroom around 4:00 and chatted with Vince about what to do. As I laid in bed again, the contractions actually stopped. After about 1/2 hour I decided this must not be the real thing, so I thought we should just go back to sleep. But then at 4:30, I got hit HARD by a very strong contraction. That was the turning point for me! I knew then that this was it.

So we made calls to the midwife and my mom and got ready to head in to the hospital. My sister, Beth, came to stay with the kids and Mom followed us to the hospital. We got there a little after 6am. I was still worried about them checking me and hooking me up and that the contractions would stop and I'd be sent home. So I was anxious to see if I'd progressed from the 3 cm I was at my last appointment. Fortunately, I was already at a 6, and they let me stay!

I was able to get in the tub around 7:00. I tried that for a while, and made some progress, but my contractions were still far apart and a bit irregular. When I was around 8 cm I decided to get out and try sitting on the birthing ball and standing to help move things more quickly.

The last hour was definitely the most difficult. That was the point in which my brain turned foggy. And although I could hear and was aware of things going on around me, I became so focused on myself and what was going on in my own body. I knew I wasn't thinking clearly. I remember people asking me questions about trying different positions or techniques, but I couldn't answer except for "I don't know."

Up to this point, my water was still intact. I had a hard time feeling the overwhelming urge to push, so I asked my midwife to break my water. (I was almost fully dilated.) The same as with Rachel, as soon as she broke my water, Caleb's head descended quickly. I definitely felt the urge then! Pushing was more difficult with Caleb than with any of my others that I can remember. But it didn't take very long. And at 9:52 am a beautiful baby boy was born into our family! It was a very emotional experience for me as they laid him on my chest. I cried a lot. I went through so much to get him here, and was so happy to finally have my baby boy.

At first I thought we would name him Adam, but when we saw him, it just didn’t fit. After much discussion that day, we decided to name him Caleb. He was 7 lbs 11 oz and 19 ½ inches long. He looks a lot like his daddy, and similar to his siblings, but with his own unique Caleb look. We are already so smitten with this new little bundle of joy!

Here he is at one month! This month has gone by so fast already! (Much faster than the month BEFORE he was born!)

We’re especially grateful that he is here! And that he is healthy. And that I am healthy. We truly have been blessed.

Give Thanks in All Things

I've debated whether or not to post this, and how much to say. But I feel that part of the grieving process is me sorting through my thoughts and feelings and getting them written down. Skip the details if it's too much. And know that this is more for me than anything.

It's been quite the whirlwind of a week. Probably the scariest experience of my life. I miscarried on Wednesday morning. I was 14 weeks. It was my first miscarriage and has obviously been rough. I didn't have much time to prepare, even though I spotted early on in this pregnancy for several weeks. Once I stopped (it's been over a month of no signs of problems) and hearing and seeing the baby's heartbeat, and moving into the 2nd trimester, I figured I was out of danger.

I was getting ready to go to yoga on Tuesday night and discovered some brown spotting around 8pm. I was concerned, but not too worried. But as the evening went on I realized I'd been cramping that evening. Went to bed and woke up at 1am because the cramping was painful. Really worried as it seemed to come in intervals too. Didn't see any blood, in fact I'd stopped spotting. Went back to sleep until 2am when it was so painful I couldn't sleep. Still no more bleeding. But called the midwife on call and as I was talking to her, I started bleeding. Rushed to the bathroom and miscarried right away. It came so fast, I really didn't feel prepared.
After about 1/2 hour I realized it wasn't stopping. I fell on the floor close to passing out, and called to Vince to get my mom here fast. They helped me to the car and I spent the next 20 minutes with the A/C blowing on me trying not to black out.

I about passed out again in the ER. They pumped me full of fluids and I stabilized. They tried to see how much placenta was still in, did an ultrasound, and found some left. The bleeding had slowed down at that point, but then around 4:30 I started cramping a LOT. More painful than before even. Over the next hour to 90 minutes I began bleeding again. The DR suggested a D&C, but then came back upset. Because of hospital policy, I wasn't an emergency case so they had to wait for the OR staff to come in at 7 to do the procedure. But by 7:00 I was crashing again. Willed myself to not go unconscious. I think my BP was around 40/19 at this point. They again pumped me with fluids and put me on oxygen till I could stabilize. But because they'd had to wait to get me to the OR for the procedure, I lost a lot of blood. My hemocrit levels went from 36 when I came in to 18.5 when I came out of surgery. I'd lost 1/2 my blood. They ended up doing a transfusion, and I had to be admitted for several hours. Levels looked better by later in the afternoon and I went home around 3:00.

I've been trying to process the fact that I could have bled to death, and that I lost my sweet baby. Experiencing the miscarriage at home was enough of a trauma. But I spent several days not being able to sleep well because of worry. I didn't want to have that scary experience again. And part of me had fought so hard to stay conscious that it was difficult to let it go and sleep. But the trauma of it has slowed way down, though now the grieving part has hit.

But through all of this I have come to be so thankful. I am so very grateful to be alive. I am grateful for modern medicine. I know without medical and divine intervention, I would have bled to death. So many things could have gone much worse. I'm so glad Vince was here, as he was 5 hours away all the week before. And I was grateful this didn't happen in MT for Thanksgiving next week.

Another great blessing I've come to appreciate is the amazing outpouring of love. I am so overwhelmed. I have loved the sweet notes, phone calls, hugs, tears, babysitting, clean bathrooms, chocolates, cupcakes, LOTS of cookies, and SO much food that has been given to us. (We really have no more room in our fridge!) I have been so amazed at all the love and concern I have felt from so many. I have seen so many other women and families who have experienced similar or worse tragedies, and have come to mourn with me as I mourn. These are examples of true Christians--true disciples of Christ. And most of all I have felt literally strengthened by many, many prayers offered in behalf of me and my family. I know that we are an eternal family. I know that the Lord feels my sorrow and I have felt the Comforter lift and sustain me through all my grief. I have been amazed also to feel such grief and such gratitude in the same moment. I am so blessed. There is much to be Thankful for.

Six Little Pumpkins

We went to the store tonight and bought pumpkins--one for each member of the family. :0)




Happy Halloween!

And Four Became Five

Well, after waiting for so long, it finally happened. And I started this post last week, but didn't seem to ever have the time to finish. Plus, I've still been mulling the experience around in my mind for the last week, and needed some time to process it in order to tell you about it. I'm like that, though. Always have to think things through for a long time.

I will have to start at the beginning. And bear with me as I go through all the wonderful details. (Hope it doesn't gross anyone out!) I'd been feeling pretty miserable lately, especially since going in to the hospital on Sunday thinking I was in labor, and then being turned away and having to go back home babyless. Not a fun experience. By the time I made it to my appointment on Friday morning, I was so ready to be done. After talking to my midwife about my options, she asked if I wanted her to strip my membranes (even though she technically shouldn't have done it, she says, she was willing to as long as I didn't mention it to any of the other ladies in the practice). I told her YES right away!

I had some mild cramping and some contracting throughout the rest of the day. But nothing really too impressive or consistent. And I'll admit, that did disappoint me. So in order to not get so discouraged by sitting around thinking about how much I wanted to go into labor, I decided to go to my little brother's High School Graduation. Maybe the baby got bored during the long ceremony, or maybe it was walking up and down the Marriot Center stairs. But I noticed on the ride home, I started having some contractions, but only every 20 minutes apart or so.

At home, I made dinner and got the kids ready for bed. All the while I kept contracting, but they were still 15 minutes apart or so, not a big deal. But I did notice that they started to get more and more impressive (meaning painful). I really wanted to stay up and walk around and make sure they didn't fizzle out once again, but Vince wisely suggested we go to sleep. If it wasn't the real thing, it would spare me the emotional drama of it all. If it WAS the real thing, laying down wouldn't stop them, and I'd at least get some rest before a long night. He is a wise man, isn't he?

I was able to sleep for a few hours, but was still aware of contracting. At about 2:00 am I couldn't sleep anymore and decided to get up and read for a while. The contractions were definitely strong now; I was finding it hard to breathe through them, and really had to concentrate now. But they were still so far apart. At about 4:00, though, I knew it was the real thing. I called the midwife on call. She said they usually like us to wait until the contractions are at least 5 or less minutes apart, but if I really wanted to come in, I could. At this point they were only about 8 minutes, but since I was already at 4 cm dilated the day before, I wanted to get to the hospital in enough time. So I called my Mom, and woke up Vince and got dressed. My Dad and Joseph got to our house to stay with Brooke and Evan, and Vince and I left for the hospital, with my Mom right behind us. Vince could tell when I was having a contraction because every few minutes I would tell him to hurry up and drive faster!

By the time we got to the hospital and checked in it was about 5:15. They checked me and I was dilated to 6 1/2 cm. So I had made some progress. I decided to try laboring in the tub for a while to see if that would help with the pain. It was the perfect way to labor!! I was able to relax with each contraction instead of fighting with them. The next time they checked me I was at an 8. I was amazed that even in transition, the contractions were still only about 5 minutes or more apart. I think it really helped that I was able to take a break in between each one. Vince even got me laughing in between contractions. My mom commented on how she couldn't believe I was joking and laughing while in transition!

They checked me again and I was almost fully dilated--9 cm with just a lip of cervix left. The midwife, Claudia, just told me to do what felt natural. She said to go ahead and push if I felt like I needed to push. At this point though, my water was still intact (which is why I think the contractions were so manageable). After a few more contractions, I asked Claudia if she'd break my water. This was the point that everything changed!

It took a few tries to get the bag to rupture, but once it did, I had literally about 5 seconds before the baby's head came down, and FAST! With my other children, I felt like the pushing stage was the best part. Not this time! This was by far the hardest and most difficult part. I felt like I had good control until then. But fortunately, I didn't have much time to suffer, as she moved down so quickly. It's hard to describe, but at this point I felt like I was watching myself, and hearing myself, but not quite in my body--as if I were watching from above. It was an odd feeling. But a few quick, good pushes, and at 7:40 am on May 30th (just 2 1/2 hours after arriving at the hospital!) little baby Rachel Victoria was in my arms!! It was such an amazingly incredible experience! And as funny as it seems, I remember thinking just after she was born, that I NEVER want to experience a natural birth again! But even now, just over a week later, I see it differently. I guess the mind really does forget! ;0)

She has really been the perfect baby! She weighed in at 7 lbs 7 oz. (which is 12 oz bigger than Evan, and over 1 1/2 lbs bigger than Brooke!) and she was 19 inches long. She has the most amazing hair of any newborn. Her hair is dark underneath, with frosted silver tips, like Brooke's hair was, but lighter even than that. Her eyebrows and lashes are light blonde, which makes me think she may be a blondie!

She loves sucking on her fingers (or anything else that comes near her mouth) and is a great eater and a great sleeper! She fusses very little, and smiles a lot for a newborn! She even smiled at me for the first time yesterday! How clever of her!

Brooke and Evan are already smitten with their new little sister. Brooke we all knew would be a good little mama. She has been SUCH a help to me!

But Evan surprised me a little. He's never been much into little brand new babies. He usually doesn't want to hold them. But he walked in to see her the first time, and quickly got into an argument with Brooke about who was going to hold her first! Evan loves to kiss her head and stroke her hand. He loves to get close to her when she's awake and say, "Hi, Baby Rachel. I'm your brother!" And whenever he leaves for a while and comes back home, he'll run up to her and talk in his baby voice, "Hi, Baby Rachel! I'm back home now!"

I could go on and on. We're all in love with her. New babies just add such a special Spirit into our home. I waited so long for her. I'm so glad she's with us, and has become a part of our new family of five.

Eviction Notice

As some of you are aware, we had quite the exciting day yesterday. I wish the day had ended as exciting as it began, but I'm SLOWLY figuring out that I have absolutely no control over anything in this pregnancy, and I have a very stubborn, very comfortable baby in my womb.

I woke up at about 2:30 Sunday morning with some contractions, which is not at all uncommon lately. But after a while of it continuing, (and because I have this NASTY cold and couldn't breathe lying down and was keeping Vince awake from my coughing) I couldn't sleep so I got up and read (and timed them) for a couple of hours. Then I got sleepy again so I laid back down. I slept okay until about 7:00, but not very soundly, as I was aware of nearly every contraction that kept coming throughout the rest of the night.

I awoke wondering if this was the real thing, but not wanting to get my hopes up. This time just seemed different, though. I had a bit of show, which seemed impressive, so I was thinking this really was it! I called my mom to update her, showered, waited to see if the contractions would change, still trying to decide if we go to church or to the hospital. About 9:30, things REALLY started to move! They became definitely more intense, longer, closer together. At that point, I knew those were all the signs to watch for. So we made arrangements for the kids to attend church with our wonderful neighbor, Marie, shipped them off, and started the 30 minute trek to Labor & Delivery!

By the time I got in the car, the contractions were 4-5 minutes apart, and at that point I had to stop and breathe through each one. Every contraction made me more excited as I knew we were having a baby today!

We got to the hospital and they hooked me all up, and started the list of questions while monitoring the contractions. They didn't seem as impressive, but that was okay. I had realized everytime I change positions they slow down for 15 minutes or so, and then pick up again. But after being monitored for an hour, they got to be good contractions again, but only about 7 minutes apart. They told me to go walk around L&D for a while to see if things got going again. At this point, I was 4 cm and 90%, so I'd made some progress from my appointment on Friday.

Vince and I walked and walked around and around the halls for a good hour. And I noticed the contractions got steadily closer together, but not as strong. And they peaked faster. So I was either having strong contractions that were far apart, or wimpy ones close together. But not both. They checked me once more after walking, and I'd basically made no change! So, they had to send me home! I was so incredibly disappointed! After weeks and weeks of "false labor" I finally felt like I was going somewhere. But apparently I couldn't tell the difference between the real thing and the fake stuff. Throughout the rest of the day, the contractions faded away. They were still pretty intense, but very sporadic. A few an hour at best. So, I guess that wasn't it. No baby yet. And for those of you who were anxious and excited along with me when I didn't show up at church yesterday, please spread the word that no, I did not really have my baby yet. I feel defeated again each time I have to answer that question. ;0)

Which brings me to the decision that I need some drastic action at this point. I've decided to issue my Baby an Eviction Notice. (I wish I could take credit for this one, but I can't. Someone else came up with it and posted it on my birth board. But I thought after yesterday, I should post one too. And it helps me at least try to keep some humor in my bleak situation!) So, Baby. You have been warned:

"Dear Baby, I am hereby issuing a notice of eviction. Please gather your belongings and promptly vacate the premises. You are being evicted due to breech of contract and destruction of private property. Expansions only to the front of the property were discussed. Not only have these limits been exceeded but expansion to the back were also made! Remodeling and gutting of the home were never approved. And due to property damage there are now several leaks in the upper and lower levels of the home. In addition the land lord has received numerous complaints of night time disturbances. Thank you for your cooperation--now get out!

Love Mommy"

Waiting for Baby

Just wanted to update you all on the baby status, since it's been a while! I had my 37 week appointment this morning. Which means I'm now officially considered "full term" and they wouldn't do anything to stop labor if it happens now. (And if you don't want the nitty-gritty details, just skip on to the next paragraph!) I was checked and am about the same as last week--I'm dilated to 3 cm and am about 80% effaced.

So things are moving, but still a lot of progress to be made. I'm now, fortunately, past that "Oh, I hope the baby doesn't come yet because I want her to be perfectly healthy" phase, and now on to the "Oh, I am so uncomfortable and I just want to have this baby here in my arms and not kickin' my ribs!" phase. I feel like this is the part in the marathon where I get to count how many miles I have left, instead of how many I've come. The finish line is somewhere around the corner (or next few corners) and I can't quite see it yet. But I can hear and feel the crowd getting more and more excited as I get closer! (Sorry for the marathon analogy. But the Ogden Marathon--my favorite--is tomorrow, and I've been thinking about it all day! Good luck, my running friends! ;0)

I also feel like I'm pretty ready to have her come. I installed the carseat in our backseat (which suddenly feels SO squished back there)! And washed all the 0-3 months pink, frilly things that have been stored away for SO long. I've cleaned the house (which mostly was because we had an appraiser come yesterday for our refinance, and I wanted it to at least be de-cluttered) and even cleaned out my closet! Yeah, Vince was shocked too! I think the only thing I'm still worried about having enough time to do is reading up on labor techniques. But somehow, I wonder if I'll ever be fully prepared for labor at this point.

So if you have any last-minute advice for an anxiously-awaiting mama, I'd love to hear it! And of course, I'll keep you posted...!!

Easter Joys

First of all, YIKES! I realize it has been a very long time since I last posted. My apologies! We are in the thick of things with the basement, trying to finish up before the baby comes. It's so fun to see things coming along so well! So exciting. But my blogging has suffered because of it. Sorry, sorry! But I actually took some pictures of our fun Easter festivities to show you all we can still have fun, even when it's busy! I sure love this time of year. I just love the Spring!! And I especially love when we can celebrate the life, Atonement, and Resurrection of our Savior!


We had our traditional coloring of Easter eggs. I really think Vince enjoys it just as much as the kids do! Here is everyone with their favorite eggs! They're all so typical of each person, too. Brooke's is purple with a pretty butterfly. Evan made his into a death star (of course--has to be Star Wars)! And Vince colored and dyed, and colored and dyed his egg to make it into a gorgeous globe! He's so artistic!

Here the kids are looking for their eggs and candy! So much fun!

The kids have Spring Break this week, and Vince was out of town for work as usual. So I decided to take the kids and head up to visit Grandma and Grandpa Hogge for the week! Of course, we're the only crazy ones that leave town and head NORTH for Spring Break instead of SOUTH where it's actually warm! We were welcomed into town with a snow storm! And it's been the same weather since! But at least we're more welcomed by the warmth of the Hogge Home than the blizzard outside! We love being here, and the kids have non-stop fun!

Grandpa took the kids for a four-wheeling ride, and taught them how to drive (aak)!! They were both timid at first, but were whippin' around after, oh, 30 seconds or so!

Look at those smiles!

Then Grandpa had to "smooth out the horse poop" as Evan put it. So he taught them how to "drive" his pickup! Sheesh! They learn everything here! You can kind of see Evan at the wheel on Grandpa's lap here. Apparently Brooke got those turns pretty well!

We've also been swimming at the YMCA and to the pizza buffet and arcade place they love to visit. We've played games and eaten s'mores with marshmallow bunnies, and watched a movie on the big projector! Whew! And we've only been here 2 days! Sure is fun!

And to finish off, we had a wonderful photo session in our backyard on Sunday with the kids' Easter outfits Grandma made. Don't they look adorable?! (Thanks, Grandma!!) I sure love these kids!

Of course, Brooke wanted to take some "silly pictures" and yup, pretty silly!

Evan wanted to pose just like Brookie:

Aw, good friends!
Standing by the apricot tree! (Look, it really IS Spring!)
I love this picture! So typically Evan!
And doesn't Brooke look like a sweet little angel? What a great girl!

And yes, because you know I was feeling huge before. Well here I am MANY weeks later and even huger! (Do you like the lovely expression on my face in the first picture?)

I'll be 33 weeks tomorrow! Woohoo! And I've already gotten the comments about how I look like I'm ready to have this baby any day now. But I still do have another month and a half. The baby was measuring bigger for about 6 weeks. They were concerned about a couple of things, so I've had two more ultrasounds. She went through a bit of a growth spurt, but seems to be evening out and she's right on track now. I'm still measuring about 2 cm bigger, but not as big as before, so that's good. Now we're trying to finish the basement so we can get the baby's room situated upstairs and all ready. I've got the big box of newborn clothes to wash and put away. That was fun to go through those old clothes! Haven't done that in many many years! We're all starting to get excited and anxious to see her! And I wanted to add that the best part about last week's ultrasound was the technician actually saw HAIR on her head! I had no idea you could even see that on an ultrasound! But she showed me, our little baby has a head of hair! Can't wait to see it in person!

Feeling Huge!!

Sorry I'm not a very good poster anymore. I feel like my life is crazy and boring, so I: 1. Don't have much time to post and 2. Don't have much to post about. But I took belly pics again so you all can see how huge I am.

I'm officially 26 weeks today. One week left of the 2nd trimester! Woohoo! Almost to the home stretch. I can't tell you how excited I am for spring and everything that will come because of it. Vince will be back home and not traveling every week!! :D And of course, 3 more months till the baby is here! We're all anxiously awaiting her arrival.

And I'm mostly excited to stop gaining weight! I seriously am floored by how much I'm packing on. In the beginning I was so sick, I just ate ANYTHING that even remotely looked good. Then I started feeling better, and was ravenously hungry, so I ate EVERYTHING that looked good! And then I realized I need to be careful. I got back on track and for the past few months I've focused on getting my 5 fruits/veggies a day, drinking lots of water, and walking/jogging at least a few times per week. But even after being careful for the past few months, I'm still packing on about 1 1/2 pounds EVERY week! It's very disconcerting. Especially because I worked so hard to get it off, and I just moan whenever I step on the scale and realize I'm going to have to do it all again. But I'm really trying to keep telling myself that as long as I'm being careful, doing what is reasonable, that my body will do what it needs to in order to have a healthy baby. That's what I tell myself anyway!

So here, for you all to see, is what I look like now at the end of my 2nd trimester:

Yeah. Okay, let's move on...

Here are also some cute pictures of my kids making their Valentine's for their parties a couple of weeks ago. I actually love that I can give my kids some cardstock, a bunch of stickers, hearts, and glue, and let them have at it. Making Valentine's turns into a great art project that keeps them busy for hours!

And now here are a couple silly baby stories: The first one happened today, actually, as I was helping out in Evan's Kindergarten classroom. I was standing next to his FABULOUS teacher (wink, wink, I know you read my blog! ;0) while she was giving last instructions to the kids before it was time to leave. And one cute little boy out of the blue looks at me and says, "Hey, you got a baby in your tummy?" So I laughed and said, "Yes, can you tell?" And he says, "Yeah. You know, it hurts A LOT when you have a baby!!" So Evan's teacher asked him how he knew that it hurts a lot. "Because they had to shuction cup me out!" It was very adorable. But at the same time, I'm thinking, Thanks for the pep-talk, kid! Yeah. I know it hurts a lot! :D

One other funny thing. Months ago, when we were first discussing with the kids about having another baby, I asked them about what names they thought sounded good for a new baby. Brooke's ideas weren't too bad. I think she came up with Max for a boy or Chloe (?) for a girl. But Evan had the best ideas! He wanted to name the baby Ness for a boy (you know, like from the Nintendo game--gotta love boys) or if it was a girl, he wanted to name her Falina!! Pronounced Fuh-leen-uh!! What?? Apparently it was one of the names Brooke made up when the kids were playing pretend. It's hilarious what they think is a good name for a baby!

And just so you can all sleep better tonight, Vince & I have decided to name our little baby something that ISN'T Falina! :D But it was a good suggestion, Evan!

Prayers Needed

I'm sorry I'm so slow at posting. I've had a whirlwind of a week (don't I always seem to say that?) and an even worse weekend. But I just wanted to pop in for a quick request for prayer for my Dad. He had a rough night last Friday. Went in to the hospital on Saturday morning. Turns out he suffered a massive heart attack and went in for open heart surgery on Sunday morning. And it turned out to be more serious than we were thinking. He's having a rough time recovering, and is in a lot of pain. Today he seems better than he did yesterday, but still certainly not himself. Mom says she's anxious for him to start cracking jokes--really bad ones that make everyone roll their eyes. Then she knows he'll be okay. So if you have a moment in your day, please say a little prayer for him that he'll recover quickly and not be in so much pain. That's the hardest thing for me to see right now.

But on a lighter note...I know some of you may not have heard the happy news: all you that guessed I was having a little girl, well, you turned out to be right!

It's a girl!

(Sorry about the pictures. I don't know how to work the scanner, so I just took pictures of the pictures. Not the best quality, but at least you can still see her cute little profile, and arm, and...well, I still can't really see how she's a girl, so good luck!)

We're all so thrilled. Brooke especially. She drew a darling picture of me and my pregnant belly a few weeks ago, before the ultrasound, and at the top wrote the words, "Girl...Be a girl..." She's been wanting a little sister for years now. I was a little nervous for Evan, because he was pretty adament that I was having a boy. But we talked about it a lot and I prepped him in case it didn't turn out the way he wanted. After the ultrasound, we went into the waiting room and sat down for a minute. I asked him how he felt about us having a girl. And his reaction was, "I'm good! Now I get to be the best part of an Oreo cookie!" Sure glad he can see the good side of a less than desired situation! Now if I can just keep that optimism, and with the Lord's help, of course, we'll be good.

Baby Update #2--Belly Pics

NurseHeidi, this is for you. I know you've been DYING to see what my growing belly looks like (though I don't know why) so I took some pictures today of me. And I'll be 18 weeks tomorrow, so I'm calling these my 18 week pictures.

Belly shot:

Full Body Shot:

And if I may, I'll brag just a little. Because looking in the mirror trying to show everyone my pronounced belly, I was feeling just a wee bit..., what's the word?...longing for my old waist back, let's say. So I got out the tape measure (I know, I know, but it was a good thing). And I have a little sheet of paper in my bathroom next to where I keep my tape measure, of the measurements I took when I was losing all that weight. So I looked back to when I started and get this: my waist measurement NOW is 1/2 inch LESS than it was before I started losing weight. And my hips were 3 1/2 inches LESS now than before I dropped the 35 pounds! So even though I'm growing, it's a comfort (and amazing) to know that I'm still not to my pre-weightloss size yet! And proportionately, I'm right where I should be for being 18 weeks into my 3rd pregnancy. And if you don't agree, please, don't tell me!

P.S. Only 4 votes so far. If you haven't yet voted, please do so at the top right of my blog page!

Baby Update

Okay, Sheri. This one's for you! Oh, and Heidi, I PROMISE when I find the camera, I'll post ya some belly pics, okay?

We all had a wonderful Christmas, oh, except for the yucky throwing up bug we got starting Christmas Evening. (For more disgusting details, you can read Beth's Blog. She's much better with words than I.) But the kids all had a wonderful day, and I was happy about that and being able to spend such great time with my family, even though it was much too limited.

So, as I mentioned, I got a yucky stomach bug and ended up spending the few days after Christmas on my couch doing nothing but watching movies and trying not to be sick. Never fun. And especially when I still haven't quite gotten past the morning sickness. But the one good thing was that it kept me down and still for a couple of days.

For the past several weeks, I've been feeling very slight little bumps here and there every now and again. And wondering, "Was that the baby moving?" But, just like a shooting star, it was over before I even realized it had begun, and I was never really sure if it was the baby or, you know, anything else that might be growling or moving in my abdominal region. Most of the time I'd leave the thought with a, "Hmm. Maybe it was the baby, but I'm just not sure yet."

But being fairly immobile for several hours at a time, I began to notice those bumps becoming stronger and more frequent. I'd feel a bump, and stop and wait and feel another in the same spot a minute later. And then another, and then a REALLY strong one. There was one where I put my hand on my belly and even felt it externally. It was wonderful! At last! I can FEEL life inside my body! It really is the most incredible feeling. And I wish there were adequate words to describe it. And it's one of those things that makes ALL the pain and misery of pregnancy worth it, to feel and KNOW that there is real life, another person, growing stronger inside my body. Very cool.

And since then, I can only describe what seems to be a PARTY going on in my belly. I can't believe I didn't feel this before 3 days ago! 'Cause when this baby gets going, it REALLY gets going! And every day it seems to be getting stronger and more aggressive. And I LOVE it!

And, in more baby news, I have now scheduled my ultrasound. January 16th at 1 pm. And hopefully if the baby isn't modest, we will know if we will be welcoming another little Brooke or another little Evan. And if you'd like to give your input, please do so in my little poll to the right. I'd love to know what you think...

Pink or Blue??

Okay, okay. I'll finally make this official....

....You know, because I am such a blabber mouth, and word is getting out anyway. And I know some of you already know this, but some of you don't and I hate trying to keep track of who knows what, so I'll just say it.




[Big breath]

Okay, maybe I won't just say it. Don't they say that a picture speaks a thousand words? Here's my picture then....







After a VERY, VERY long break, and lots of hoping, I finally got one of these:

Yup. Two lines. Which you're probably all thinking, "Oh, that explains A LOT! That must be why she looks so tired, irritable, and sick-looking every time I see her!" :) Yup. That would be why. Baby #3 is on its way, and we're expecting him/her to arrive sometime in May-ish, I hope. But for now, I'm struggling to find ANYTHING in this whole darn world that looks remotely appetizing to force down my esophagus. Because, really, NOTHING does. Nothing. You know all those lovely foods I used to enjoy? Yeah, not only can I not eat them, I can't smell them, listen to them cooking, or even look at them. Actually, I think I need to stop talking about food now...

Just know that Vince & I and both kids are ecstatic. Can't wait. And I really know it's worth it all in the end. I just have to tell myself that multiple times a day. Oh yeah. I'm the one that asked for this and wanted this! And really, I do. I've been wanting this baby for a long, long time. So say a little prayer that the next 6 1/2 months go wonderfully well for me and #3!